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Archive for the ‘Smiles’ Category

I used to be one of those girls that believed I was more of a guy’s girl. I didn’t “like” girls. It’s embarrassing to admit but I would say things like “they’re too catty” or “they love drama”. The best part of that is I was being catty and creating drama by having that attitude. In the past 5 years or so I’ve really changed my outlook without even trying and because of it I’ve not only created incredible friendships with new females but strengthened the ones I already had. Men and women are so different and as a woman, I don’t think it’s fair for me to depend on a man to give me everything I need (which, I have to admit, can be a LOT at times). Both genders have their strengths as well as their weaknesses so, why not rely on the strengths and not blame everyone for their weaknesses? Females are not only born cheerleaders but they are compassionate, listeners and eager to help ┬áso why would I want to close myself off to that sort of support? I don’t know where the anomosity stems from; jealousy, insecurity, superiority but those negative attitudes only act as barriers in our path of growing, learning and moving along. So, ladies, be kind and good to your sisters because we are all in need of the same thing and we are all capable of giving which allows us to be open to receive. Namaste.
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I love babies. They’re fragile and unaware. Not to mention, they’re us and who we used to be. A friend recently had a baby and I was invited to come visit, only hours after her little girl was born. I had been to visit babies, such as new cousins, at the hospital before but there was something different about this experience. Maybe because I’m getting older or because it was one of my peers’ babies but it really moved me. It moved me in a way that brought tears to my eyes and a sort of happiness and excitement that was so precious. Of course, I was super embarrassed because no one else was crying-not even the brand new mom or grandma. After laughing, apologizing the tears away and taking a few photos, I left the hospital feeling so calm. Content. Happy. I felt as if I had been recharged, ready for life and the challenges ahead of me. They say that “being born” and dying are the most painful and difficult experiences to endure (which I’d like to know how anyone knows that) and if this tender little human could handle being born and struggling into our world then we can persevere over our pain, struggles and conflicts.

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I’m not talking about for big things like mortgages, tuition and groceries (although my life would be a lot easier if that were the case) but what if this was the currency we used among our small personal circles? What if every time you needed a favor you had to hug the person? You go next door to borrow a cup of sugar for the cookies you need to make and in return you give your neighbor a hug. Or, you ask a coworker to take on a file of yours so you can lighten a workload and when they respond “yes” you give them a hug. Not everyone is a hugger and for some reason a lot of those people are my friends. I need to ask for hugs and even then I usually get a response of “no” so now I just have to sniper attack hugs. Sometimes when I’m fighting with someone, all it comes down to is me simply needing a hug. Reassuring me that I’m loved and appreciated. If every day, every single person such as people of power, skeazy finance guys and even you and me were randomly hugged, making us all feel loved and appreciated, I think this world would be a better place.

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Most of us living in the US of A have led pretty charmed lives. Sure, we had our adolescent struggles as well as our fair share of disagreements with our parents. It’s an understatement when I tell you that I was angry at my parents for most of my teenage years. Not only was I grounded from the age of 12 until I was 18 but in this time my dad kicked me out of the house for not washing dishes properly as well as didn’t talk nor look at me for bringing home a D in conduct on a report card. Did he handle these situations rationally? No, not at all. I even went to therapy with them, for them and because of them. What it all boils down to is they did the best they could with what they were taught. I know my Dad loves me, was scared I was going to turn into him and only wanted me to succeed. If you didn’t have a parent like that, I’m sorry. That’s horrible and you didn’t deserve it however, stop giving them power over your life. It’s only you, right now, always and forever so live how you want to live. One of grandma’s, I won’t name names, is in her seventies and still blaming her parents for her “horrible” life. This doesn’t just boggle my mind but makes me feel so sad that this woman is not even a woman in so many ways. She’s stunted, debilitated and imprisoned by merely an emotion. If this sounds anything like how you feel then free yourself and forgive! Don’t be my grandma (unless you want to bake me cookies and tell me how wonderful I am).

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It’s a simple fact that everyone is different so why is everyone trying to live the same life? Your neighbor’s grass looks greener from over the fence but if you got closer you’d see all the weeds and dead patches. You think you’d be happier if you were married? Well, then you get married and envy the simplicity and independence of being single. You wish you owned a home? Then you buy one and realize all the work that constantly needs to get done and your bank account dwindles and your weekends are busy going to Home Depot. You wish you had more money? Then when you have money you realize all the responsibility that comes along with it or how difficult it is to trust people. If you get caught up in this, the list could keep going…”I wish I had her body” “He has a better job” “Their mom and dad help them out more than my parents” “He’s in much better shape than me” “Her kids are better listeners than mine” “I wish I had an Aunt Sally who took me on trips to Africa” and blah blah frickin’ blah. Don’t be such a downer.

The things is, everyone struggles and everyone can thrive, the details are unimportant (to-may-to/to-mah-to). Everyone has pros and cons. So, let’s focus on our pros and make the world a better place.

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Ok, so now we’re all grown up and we’ve learned that life can suck. We have responsibilites, obligations and 401k’s. Stress has become one of those things that we manage on a day to day basis. Crinkles in our annoyed/frustrated/angry faces are beginning to leave wrinkles. But, do you remember a time when you couldn’t wait to be a grown up? A time when everything was a mystery, exciting and new? What were those things you couldn’t wait to do? And better yet, what were those things you used to love and have stopped doing? Did you play sports? Pretend? Blow bubbles? What made you laugh? I hate to break it to you but here’s the thing: you’re still that same person. Don’t stifle your fun, energy and excitement for life. You’re finally allowed to do almost whatever you want to, so what’s stopping you? Go shoot a gun, jump off a cliff (with a bungie cord attached to it), climb a tree as high as you can, travel somewhere far away or get in a tickle fight that makes you scream and laugh for your life! Do things that make you feel free and young to balance out the ball and chain of life’s responsibilities.

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I get a lot of flack because I’m kind of known as a best-friend-slut. I don’t really have a lot of acquaintances so if you’re my friend at all, chances are you’re one of my best friends. They all contribute something different but there is one consistent attribute they all share and that’s honesty. Whether it’s how inappropriate a short dress may be, an obsessive love interest (meaning me being obsessed with someone not vice versa) or a new idea for a future endeavor (i.e. to travel the world as a homeless person for a year)-none of them ever hesitate to give me the truth. It may be delivered in different ways from a gentle suggestion to a blunt, harsh statement but it’s all given with the same intention-love. Right? At least that’s what I tell myself…

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