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Archive for the ‘Respect’ Category

I used to be one of those girls that believed I was more of a guy’s girl. I didn’t “like” girls. It’s embarrassing to admit but I would say things like “they’re too catty” or “they love drama”. The best part of that is I was being catty and creating drama by having that attitude. In the past 5 years or so I’ve really changed my outlook without even trying and because of it I’ve not only created incredible friendships with new females but strengthened the ones I already had. Men and women are so different and as a woman, I don’t think it’s fair for me to depend on a man to give me everything I need (which, I have to admit, can be a LOT at times). Both genders have their strengths as well as their weaknesses so, why not rely on the strengths and not blame everyone for their weaknesses? Females are not only born cheerleaders but they are compassionate, listeners and eager to help  so why would I want to close myself off to that sort of support? I don’t know where the anomosity stems from; jealousy, insecurity, superiority but those negative attitudes only act as barriers in our path of growing, learning and moving along. So, ladies, be kind and good to your sisters because we are all in need of the same thing and we are all capable of giving which allows us to be open to receive. Namaste.

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It’s not a secret that I make a lot of mistakes. I’m not perfect and I defenitely own the fact that I’m not. The thing that frustrates me is that no one is perfect yet not everyone can admit this. There are too many people in this world that have a hard time accepting responsibility for their actions and admitting they may have been in the wrong. I believe it’s easier to say “I’m sorry” than living with the knowledge of someone feeling upset with me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if I believe what I did was wrong but rather if someone felt hurt by those actions. Empathy, compassion and love should come before pride.

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There are only a few things that bother me more than passive aggressiveness. It’s not healthy, it’s not proactive and it’s not straight up. Passive aggressiveness is the consequence when someone is unable to say no or “I don’t like this”. I think in our world today we tend to overcommit ourselves and spread ourselves too thin. Not to mention no one wants to be the “bad guy”, we don’t want to disappoint or hurt feelings. Part of me even believes that politeness is ruining our social society. It’s okay to not agree, feel hurt and be unable to do something for someone else and it’s alright to express those things. Communication is key and most of the time it’s not just the words but rather the delivery. People are sensitive, even the ones who pretend that they’re not (usually they are the most sensitive) and how you say something to someone can be more important than the words themselves. There’s no need to say “no” in a snide and annoyed way but rather “Ohh, bummer. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that”. It’s easy. Try it. I love saying “no” (I promise I’m not a tease, though) and find it very liberating!

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Most of us living in the US of A have led pretty charmed lives. Sure, we had our adolescent struggles as well as our fair share of disagreements with our parents. It’s an understatement when I tell you that I was angry at my parents for most of my teenage years. Not only was I grounded from the age of 12 until I was 18 but in this time my dad kicked me out of the house for not washing dishes properly as well as didn’t talk nor look at me for bringing home a D in conduct on a report card. Did he handle these situations rationally? No, not at all. I even went to therapy with them, for them and because of them. What it all boils down to is they did the best they could with what they were taught. I know my Dad loves me, was scared I was going to turn into him and only wanted me to succeed. If you didn’t have a parent like that, I’m sorry. That’s horrible and you didn’t deserve it however, stop giving them power over your life. It’s only you, right now, always and forever so live how you want to live. One of grandma’s, I won’t name names, is in her seventies and still blaming her parents for her “horrible” life. This doesn’t just boggle my mind but makes me feel so sad that this woman is not even a woman in so many ways. She’s stunted, debilitated and imprisoned by merely an emotion. If this sounds anything like how you feel then free yourself and forgive! Don’t be my grandma (unless you want to bake me cookies and tell me how wonderful I am).

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#1 Cheap labor, #2 lots of endurance and #3 they love hard physical activity.  I’m kidding. Well, kind of. My parents didn’t make me work-for a looooong time. They definitely encouraged it however, when you encourage an adolescent, they do the opposite. That’s why you need to get them young. Children are sponges and no matter how small a moment or insignificant a lesson might seem, to them-it’s life changing. Not to mention, routine is so important. The repetitive activities are what create their memories of their childhood, creating their safe nostalgic zone. So, when they grow up and become the adults they are meant to be they usually incorporate those same things their parents did with them. It’s in the groceries they buy, the way they wash their dishes or what they do before they go to bed. The thing is, if you give your kids little jobs to do around the house, things that are a part of the routine, they’ll learn that those things are just things you do. Today, so many people have no idea how to make a bed, do their laundry, cook a decent meal or even grow a plant. Allowances can be added but maybe for bigger jobs because it’s important to learn how all work isn’t work you get paid for (that’s still one that I have a hard time with).

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I grew up with a dad (pictured above) who’s motto is “I’m not going to ask for their autograph if they don’t ask me for mine”. When I was younger I didn’t really get it. “But, Jonathon Taylor Thomas doesn’t know who you are.” was my response. Now that I’m a little bit (just a little bit) older I, not only get it but live it. Just because someone’s face may be a tad bit more recognizable or their bank account balance has a few more zeros before the decimal point that doesn’t mean they deserve my respect or even attention. Some could argue that I’m jealous but I don’t think that’s the case. It’s more so the fact that I try my best to earn people’s adoration and respect and I hold that fact partially responsible for me trying to be the best human being I can be. I want everyone to think I’m amazing so, I have to be amazing. So, if people weren’t so easily impressed by fame or fortune those in powerful positions would have to work a little harder to be respected and the world would be a better place.

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