Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

I love babies. They’re fragile and unaware. Not to mention, they’re us and who we used to be. A friend recently had a baby and I was invited to come visit, only hours after her little girl was born. I had been to visit babies, such as new cousins, at the hospital before but there was something different about this experience. Maybe because I’m getting older or because it was one of my peers’ babies but it really moved me. It moved me in a way that brought tears to my eyes and a sort of happiness and excitement that was so precious. Of course, I was super embarrassed because no one else was crying-not even the brand new mom or grandma. After laughing, apologizing the tears away and taking a few photos, I left the hospital feeling so calm. Content. Happy. I felt as if I had been recharged, ready for life and the challenges ahead of me. They say that “being born” and dying are the most painful and difficult experiences to endure (which I’d like to know how anyone knows that) and if this tender little human could handle being born and struggling into our world then we can persevere over our pain, struggles and conflicts.

Read Full Post »

My parents tried to introduce me to the idea of death and funerals at an early age. Their thought process was that if they treated the idea as normal and just a natural part of life than I wouldn’t think too much of it. The thing was-I had a mind of my own and it was filled with anxiety. For a long long long time I was terrified of death. Not just of my own mortality but my loved ones as well. Whenever I would leave my parents, uncles/aunts or grandma I would tell myself “This is going to be the last goodbye”. It was hell. I worked hard to change my thought process and thankfully I have learned to embrace the idea of death without crumbling at the very thought of it. Shirley MacLaine believes in reincarnation. I’m not sure if I do too but I do believe our souls never die and if that’s the case then we never die. War is pointless, if death doesn’t mean anything. The thing is our society wants us to fear death. They want us to be afraid so we buy things to make us feel like we’re cheating death-Earthquake survival kits, medicines, insurance policies, etc. Not to mention, a group that is afraid is easier to control than a group that is brave. My suggestion? Live live LIVE your life loud. In the end/beginning/transition, we are alone. Let’s embrace it and not be afraid anymore so are world can be healthier and happier!

Read Full Post »

Went it comes to certain things, I’m kind of a baby. Spiders, mountain lions, ghosts, mind control, etc. The thing is, I’m usually afraid of the¬†intangible. Unless, it’s a wild animal. It obviously has to do with control and for some reason, if anything bad were to arise where I had to defend myself (except for a wild animal) I believe I would come out on top. Again, I have no idea where this confidence in protecting myself against a serial killer or a drive by shooting but I have it and whether it’s false or not, I love it. The thing is, fear so many times stops us from living our lives to the fullest. This is when regret happens and when regret occurs resentment and bitterness are not too far behind. I don’t ever want to be an old bitter bitty so I have to do the things that scare me, like old Eleanor said. Every single time I’ve ever been scared, not only have I been thrilled and learned something new but I’ve also changed and grown more into the person that I want to be. I used to be scared of being alone until I drove cross country by myself without knowing if I had enough money or not. Everyone’s fears are different but whatever yours might be-whether it’s socializing, speaking up for yourself, hurting yourself, being rejected, embarrasing yourself-embrace it and charge at it. Don’t let fear stop you from believing in something different, living your life to the fullest or becoming the you that you are supposed to be. Your happiness and freedom can make this world a better place.

Read Full Post »

Obviously. It goes without saying. But, I’m talking on an even lesser scale. I killed an insect.Usually I don’t have much remorse but this time it was different. It was a yellow jacket bee and trapping him was too easy. He was on the wall of my bathroom and I only hesitated a moment before I grabbed the hand soap bottle. I intended to smush him but since the bottom of the bottle was concave, it merely caged him. He barely flinched until I dragged along the wall without thinking it would injure him. Trying to bring him to the bring him down to where the wall met the floor, his little legs got stuck under the rim. Ugh, his legs were then broken so when I released the bottle from against the wall he fell into the bucket. He was a big guy. I witnessed him struggle and looked him in his bugged eyes when I apologized. I forced myself to watch him because it was me who had harmed him so frivolously. He was probably crying a little bee cry. Once I had seen all I could I dumped him into the toilet and flushed him. Hours afterwards, it stayed with me. Guilt. I couldn’t help but wonder why didn’t I instinctively try to trap him first and release him outside? I hadn’t been scared of him, I’ve never been one of those people who freak out when a bee is near (I have a low tolerance for those people). It may seem silly but if we had more value and respect for lives seemingly smaller then ours than maybe we could find more value in each other’s lives.

Read Full Post »