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Archive for the ‘Anger’ Category

 

It’s not a secret that I make a lot of mistakes. I’m not perfect and I defenitely own the fact that I’m not. The thing that frustrates me is that no one is perfect yet not everyone can admit this. There are too many people in this world that have a hard time accepting responsibility for their actions andĀ admitting they may have been in the wrong. I believe it’s easier to say “I’m sorry” than living with the knowledge of someone feeling upset with me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if I believe what I did was wrong but rather if someone felt hurt by those actions. Empathy, compassion and love should come before pride.

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There are only a few things that bother me more than passive aggressiveness. It’s not healthy, it’s not proactive and it’s not straight up. Passive aggressiveness is the consequence when someone is unable to say no or “I don’t like this”. I think in our world today we tend to overcommit ourselves and spread ourselves too thin. Not to mention no one wants to be the “bad guy”, we don’t want to disappoint or hurt feelings. Part of me even believes that politeness is ruining our social society. It’s okay to not agree, feel hurt and be unable to do something for someone else and it’s alright to express those things. Communication is key and most of the time it’s not just the words but rather the delivery. People are sensitive, even the ones who pretend that they’re not (usually they are the most sensitive) and how you say something to someone can be more important than the words themselves. There’s no need to say “no” in a snide and annoyed way but rather “Ohh, bummer. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that”. It’s easy. Try it. I love saying “no” (I promise I’m not a tease, though) and find it very liberating!

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Most of us living in the US of A have led pretty charmed lives. Sure, we had our adolescent struggles as well as our fair share of disagreements with our parents. It’s an understatement when I tell you that I was angry at my parents for most of my teenage years. Not only was I grounded from the age of 12 until I was 18 but in this time my dad kicked me out of the house for not washing dishes properly as well as didn’t talk nor look at me for bringing home a D in conduct on a report card. Did he handle these situations rationally? No, not at all. I even went to therapy with them, for them and because of them. What it all boils down to is they did the best they could with what they were taught. I know my Dad loves me, was scared I was going to turn into him and only wanted me to succeed. If you didn’t have a parent like that, I’m sorry. That’s horrible and you didn’t deserve it however, stop giving them power over your life. It’s only you, right now, always and forever so live how you want to live. One of grandma’s, I won’t name names, is in her seventies and still blaming her parents for her “horrible” life. This doesn’t just boggle my mind but makes me feel so sad that this woman is not even a woman in so many ways. She’s stunted, debilitated and imprisoned by merely an emotion. If this sounds anything like how you feel then free yourself and forgive! Don’t be my grandma (unless you want to bake me cookies and tell me how wonderful I am).

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It’s a simple fact that everyone is different so why is everyone trying to live the same life? Your neighbor’s grass looks greener from over the fence but if you got closer you’d see all the weeds and dead patches. You think you’d be happier if you were married? Well, then you get married and envy the simplicity and independence of being single. You wish you owned a home? Then you buy one and realize all the work that constantly needs to get done and your bank account dwindles and your weekends are busy going to Home Depot. You wish you had more money? Then when you have money you realize all the responsibility that comes along with it or how difficult it is to trust people. If you get caught up in this, the list could keep going…”I wish I had her body” “He has a better job” “Their mom and dad help them out more than my parents” “He’s in much better shape than me” “Her kids are better listeners than mine” “I wish I had an Aunt Sally who took me on trips to Africa” and blah blah frickin’ blah. Don’t be such a downer.

The things is, everyone struggles and everyone can thrive, the details are unimportant (to-may-to/to-mah-to). Everyone has pros and cons. So, let’s focus on our pros and make the world a better place.

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Ok, so now we’re all grown up and we’ve learned that life can suck. We have responsibilites, obligations and 401k’s. Stress has become one of those things that we manage on a day to day basis. Crinkles in our annoyed/frustrated/angry faces are beginning to leave wrinkles. But, do you remember a time when you couldn’t wait to be a grown up? A time when everything was a mystery, exciting and new? What were those things you couldn’t wait to do? And better yet, what were those things you used to love and have stopped doing? Did you play sports? Pretend? Blow bubbles? What made you laugh? I hate to break it to you but here’s the thing: you’re still that same person. Don’t stifle your fun, energy and excitement for life. You’re finally allowed to do almost whatever you want to, so what’s stopping you? Go shoot a gun, jump off a cliff (with a bungie cord attached to it), climb a tree as high as you can, travel somewhere far away or get in a tickle fight that makes you scream and laugh for your life! Do things that make you feel free and young to balance out the ball and chain of life’s responsibilities.

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Went it comes to certain things, I’m kind of a baby. Spiders, mountain lions, ghosts, mind control, etc. The thing is, I’m usually afraid of theĀ intangible. Unless, it’s a wild animal. It obviously has to do with control and for some reason, if anything bad were to arise where I had to defend myself (except for a wild animal) I believe I would come out on top. Again, I have no idea where this confidence in protecting myself against a serial killer or a drive by shooting but I have it and whether it’s false or not, I love it. The thing is, fear so many times stops us from living our lives to the fullest. This is when regret happens and when regret occurs resentment and bitterness are not too far behind. I don’t ever want to be an old bitter bitty so I have to do the things that scare me, like old Eleanor said. Every single time I’ve ever been scared, not only have I been thrilled and learned something new but I’ve also changed and grown more into the person that I want to be. I used to be scared of being alone until I drove cross country by myself without knowing if I had enough money or not. Everyone’s fears are different but whatever yours might be-whether it’s socializing, speaking up for yourself, hurting yourself, being rejected, embarrasing yourself-embrace it and charge at it. Don’t let fear stop you from believing in something different, living your life to the fullest or becoming the you that you are supposed to be. Your happiness and freedom can make this world a better place.

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